Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing Book Review
Matthew Perry
I found Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing depressing, jaded, and one of the most powerful memoirs I have read written by an addict. (For a comparison click here.) Perhaps a paradox, but nevertheless true. But some background is needed on my perspective. I never saw the series Friends during its’ initial run. Not a single episode.
The show debuted in the fall of 1994. I had lost two immediate family members in just six months, had three young kids and was teaching twelve credits at a local community college. Television was not part of my vocabulary.
By the time the series ended in 2004, I had an additional child and the two oldest were in high school. My relaxation came in the written form while soaking in a tub full of bubble bath. But, during the isolation of Covid-19, I began to watch re-runs and the cast of Friends was incredible. Including Matthew Perry.
Big Terrible Thing
However, I have not seen enough episodes to pick up on his constant battle with addiction. So, the memoir was disturbing and a bit depressing. The author at times came off as jaded. But his ending message is powerful. Addiction has destroyed his body. He is fortunate more relationships were not ruined.
Names are dropped, but I would not classify Perry as a name dropper. On occasion he with holds an identity. But the message is still the same. His ongoing battle with addiction has interfered with his happiness. And with most long-term female relationships. It was troubling.
The big terrible thing in my opinion is how close to the edge his life will always be. I feel for anyone faced with this disease. And I am firmly in the camp that believes it is a disease.
Concluding Thoughts
Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing is a difficult read. A cursory look reflects an artificial comic. One gets the feeling that for most of his life Perry was an “all about me” person. The tragedy lies in the hidden demons. And at some point, blame needs to fall within. The past is the past. Perry alludes to this. Even acknowledges how his parents always stuck by him- even though he blames his upbringing for his insecurities.
The book is a powerful look at dealing with the demons within. It is written to help those who struggle. And to offer an explanation to those who are on the outside looking in. I don’t know if it will help with the former, but it succeeds with the latter. Unfortunately, addiction cannot be solved by outsiders. Only the individual afflicted can beat the curse. It is my sincere hope Mr. Perry, and all other addicts can overcome their internal enslavement.

Share this:
- Click to print (Opens in new window) Print
- Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
- Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
- Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
- Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
- Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
A new year provides the perfect time to update goals. Top of the list is establishing a relationship with an agent or an editor. The second writing goal pertains to this blog. But it is hard to accurately define- I want the posts to be “more and better.” For now, I will leave the goal loosely specified.
Going Rogue is Janet Evanovich’s latest Stephanie Plum novel. Loyal fans will be delighted. Because the book fleshes out old characters with more in-depth personalities. And Stephanie Plum is showing growth as well. As usual there are several laugh out loud moments from the delightful supporting cast.







Laura Dave’s The Last Thing He Told Me is a thrilling, moving novel of love in the face of lies. The need for family and the sacrifices one makes for that family is the heart and soul of the book. The outcome will move you to tears.

My arrival in Central Florida preceded Nicole’s by about eighteen hours. The winds became stronger as we both approached the area. Since, this was a Category 1 storm the wind gusts were on par to those I experience frequently living on the High Plains. I have always wondered why the Weather Channel does not send Jim Cantore and his co-hosts out to my part of the country on a more regular basis. Perhaps, it is the lack of storm surge. More likely blowing dust is not as easy to film as crashing waves.
Both a romance and a love story, Thank You for Listening is an enchanting story with depth. Julia Whelan’s experience as a screenwriter and audiobook narrator provides the necessary background to pen this delightful book. My only question as someone who has never heard an audiobook, do the books end with the phrase thank you for listening?


The youngest tyke is just now realizing there is a world around him. Fortunately, he has parents that both read and read to him. Snowman At Halloween is a board book that he can put his chubby little hands around…next year. But I am sure he will listen to more than one reading of the cute tale this year.
The last of the trio of Halloween books is part of a picture book series. Ann Whitford Paul writes, and David Walker illustrates the If Animals… series. And If Animals Trick-or-Treated is sure to be a winner with the eldest grandchild who understands just what occurs on Halloween night.
Sophie the cat is quite the hunter. From time to time, she has competition from the bull snakes. She stays clear of the larger ones but sometimes challenges and even conquers the smaller ones. She was challenging the latest bull snake this week.
Upgrade by Blake Crouch is a 2022 release that is part futuristic, part action, part dystopian and totally page turning. But the most compelling part of the story is the humanity demonstrated by the hero, Logan Ramsey. A man no longer a “normal” human. But one genetically altered.








