Tag: Male Breast Cancer

Waiting and Wondering

Today is the day we finely get to meet the oncologist my Dad has been referred too. It seems like an eternity since the surgery. The waiting and wondering of the last two weeks is almost over. Naturally, there has been a bit of stress.

Dealing with Stress

However, our moods have been fairly upbeat. I attribute this to a couple of things. First, the day after the surgery he felt up to walking. So we did. But we took it easy. A fifteen minute saunter around the neighborhood would be a more apt description. The following day the walk lasted a few minutes longer.

Now Dad is back to his normal pace and time. Thirty minutes of walking at a good pace. Last night he walked on his own while I made an early dinner. He had a club meeting to go to.

He has not resumed lifting weights, but my guess is the surgeon will give the green light next week. The physical activity helps keep the spirits up. Plus, he believes it helps him sleep at night. Octogenarians benefit from exercise and good sleep too.

Family Support

A second positive during this period of waiting and wondering has been support from family and friends. My Dad’s siblings talk with each other on Sunday afternoons. I believe this tradition started when they were in college. For the oldest two, the college years took place in the 1950s. Long distance calls were not common and of course cell phones and their unlimited calling plans non-existent.

Fortunately, staying in touch these days is easier. So the phone calls have been more numerous. The brothers are commiserating since each is now battling cancer. Their younger sister is offering support through prayers and advice.

In my case, my biggest support is my husband. He flew down over the Veteran’s Day holiday. Even though the visit was brief, my spirits were buoyed. I just wish the distance wasn’t so great.

My kids have texted and called and my daughter-in-law has shared videos and pictures of the youngest member of the family. The little miss has mastered rolling over and cut her first tooth. Wonderful milestones to offset the waiting and wondering.

Friends

Support from friends played a big role during the last sixteen days since the surgical waiting room. On a couple of occasions my Dad joined friends for lunch. And he stays active in his Lodge meetings. He also continues to visit my Mom in the nursing home. Unfortunately, her dementia makes support from that quarter flighty at best.

Since my friends are distant, the support comes from phone calls, including a timely one yesterday regarding the purchase of Kentucky Oaks tickets. The email from Churchill Downs had gone to the Spam box. Fortunately, my time block to buy is later today. Kentucky Oaks Day highlights the fight against breast cancer. Survivors march along the track prior to the race for three year old fillies. I love Oaks Day. Attendance next year will be exceptionally meaningful.

Reading and Researching

Most of my reading the last two weeks has been via the Internet. Armed with preliminary lab reports from his mastectomy, I am reading mostly so I can follow the conversation he will have with the oncologist this afternoon. I am very grateful for the thorough website of the American Cancer Society. Male breast cancer is not common.

The waiting and wondering will continue after today’s appointment. But, I am hoping for an action plan of a sort. Obviously more testing will be done to see if other areas of the body have been affected.

I am not sure how much fighting my Dad will do. Side effects of cancer treatment vary by type as well as by the individual. Whatever decisions he makes, I will support. It is the least I can do.

Breast Cancer Ribbon
Not for Women Only

 

 

 

Observations and Thoughts From a Surgical Waiting Room

Breast Cancer Ribbon
Not for Women Only

Surgery is difficult for both the patient and those in the waiting room. Some waiting rooms have more tension in them than others. A waiting room for elective surgery for example does not throw off the same stressed out vibes as one reserved for emergency room surgeries. But you find a mix of personalities in both.

Unfortunately, I have been in more than my share of surgical waiting rooms. So I have experienced both the life and death feeling as well as the mere anxiety that something could go wrong even with a fairly healthy patient. I tend to be the quiet one waiting in a corner. Although one time I was the only one waiting. Hospitals always have some level of noise in the background.

Elective Surgery

Today I am waiting on an “elective” surgery patient. But many, especially during this month of breast cancer awareness, would question the term elective. Unfortunately, a close member of my family found a lump in the right breast. It is being removed as a type. At 31 mm it is somewhat size-able. Why was it not found in a routine mammogram? Because most men do not undergo routine scans.

Yes, a male member of the family is having a tumor removed. I am thankful that during this month of breast cancer awareness, various media outlets including CBS, stressed that men can get breast cancer. This spotlight motivated the patient to not put off getting help.

Obviously, at this point in time I do not know if the tumor is cancerous. His doctors were in agreement that the lump needed to come out regardless of unknown toxicity. The needle biopsy that can be a prelude to removal was skipped. Perhaps the family history played a part in this. Or a belief that a quickly growing tumor needs to come out before it causes problems.

Waiting Room Patient Confidentiality

Back to the observations. This particular waiting room uses numbers instead of names to give the standard updates of when a patient goes into surgery or is in recovery. The numbers are displayed on a screen similar to those that show arrivals and departures at an airport. Instead of comments such as On Time and Delayed, this board posted Pre-op, Procedure-In-Progress and Recovery alongside a long number. Only the patient’s family knew which number represented their loved one.

There is a mixture of singletons as well as clusters of families waiting to hear the magical words that the patient is in recovery. Additionally, several languages fill the room. Along with the snores. More than one individual has fallen asleep. Not surprising since most of the same day surgeries require an early check-in. I woke the patient at 5 A.M. in order to make the drive for a 6:30 arrival and a ten in the morning surgery. The process is lengthy which can add to the stress.

Final Thoughts

In my case, I am not as worried about the procedure as I am about the final diagnosis. For an eighty year old, my Dad is in fantastic shape. He still lifts weights and exercises regularly. So the surgery should go well.

It is the findings that are concerning. Cancer or no cancer? If cancerous how far along? Difficult when you are the only surviving child. So many decisions to be made by the patient. So many by the caregiver. I am hoping for the best case scenario. Only time will tell.